Monthly Archives: October 2007

Lost Friend

Lost

However hard you may try losses are inevitable…One day, after an unsatisfactory phone call or after a strained talk at an all-out blowout, you mutter to yourself, "What’s wrong? Why am I not feeling he/she longer like a friend? Something has gone…has been lost" WHY?…Why would a once close friend suddenly, or even gradually, turns into lost friend?…Well… Most  friendships break for one of three main reasons: a major change such as marriage or a move…neglect…or the betrayal. Here we’d suggest to take a closer look at each one.

 

Change

The most frequently and usually friendship is disrupted because of a major change—for better or worse—in the life of a friend. The change factor is part emotional and part practical. Since most friendships begin when both people are going through similar experiences, when something big happens to change the status of one friend (good job, financial success, romantic relationships or marriage), it’s human nature for the other to feel some envy—"Why he/ she and not me?". And vice versa if a friend’s life is going downhill that is human nature to give up the relationship avoiding contact with a LOST friend…And for sure discovery of new limits on time, energy, and attention is mere practical source of contention between friends. The friend whose life has changed least will usually have to make more accommodations, at least during the initial period of change. Whatever the case, you can count on change to impact even your most treasured lifelong friendships.

 

Neglect

Life is motion…all what is our life has to constantly move forward…we have to work, develop, never let it die out…Some friendships die because they aren’t moving forward. They die from stagnation or plain neglect. You promised to call but didn’t. You knew it was your friend’s birthday, but were too busy to celebrate…Think about it. When we’re busy, we only do what comes easy, and even good friendships aren’t always easy. Lack of attention and concern is sure to cause a rift. And when it does, it almost always catches us off guard, when we least expect it or can least handle it: when we’re going through stressful times at school, work, or home that make us less attentive and less able to respond—which is what caused the neglect to begin with. That’s why it can seem that the best friendships break precisely when we need them the most.

 

Betrayal

Betrayal is the most painful reason losing friend…this is a case when lost trust results in lost friend. Your confidant, who knows your darkest secrets (how deeply you’re in debt or your struggle with an eating disorder), has let one of them out of the bag. And what is morel, your close friend has the power to hurt you precisely because he/ she knows you so well; your deepest secrets arm his/her with the emotional weapon that can cut you to the core. And you’re left wondering if he/she will do it again…

 

Lost friend takes leave with a bang or whimper…Those that whimper simply dissolve from neglect, having run their natural course. It is normal to shed friends throughout our lives: when we leave school, when we change jobs, when we move to a new city, even when we drop an aerobics class.  If you were to start a new romance, get married, have children, you probably leave behind a circle of friends…Friendships ending with a bang are more likely the result of an unexpected change or a more dreadful betrayal…

Regardless of how a friendship breaks, with a bang or a whimper, you will inevitably find yourself wondering whether it should be repaired, whether you should do what you can to salvage what is left or just let it go. If you value a relationship that has come to the end of the road, we urge you not to write your lost friend off completely—at least not just yet. Okay, so you’ve been burned, betrayed in a way you never deserved. You want to get even. But you have a choice: you can experience some momentary satisfaction by slamming the door shut and keeping it locked with offense, or you can give yourself space and time to cool off and collect your thoughts…Time really does have away of healing deep hurts. Time allows forgiveness to wash away anger and keep us healthy. Returning lost friend and restored relationship can give us perspective on our experiences, deepen our lives. So…every cloud has silver lining…Think about it…

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The worst Monday ever….

So, as I’ve posted before–I’m in Chicago preparing for the funeral of my aunt.  I am now sitting in the Emergency room of Northwestern Medical Hospital because my father fell in teh bath tub while he was caulking the perimeter.  He was in so much pain, it necessitated coming here.  It is now 11:30pm Central time.  I am a pallbearer and need to be at the church by 9am.  I may get 3 hours and then I’m back on the plane back to Seattle (via Las Vegas) at 6pm.  I arrive back in Seattle at midnight.

My plane was an hour late in taking off because of a "mechanical failure".  So I arrive an hour late and meet my aunt two terminals away (no trivial fact at O’Hare Int’l).  She is older than my father and not doing too well herself.  I think of taking care of these aging family of mine and the thought almost cripples me.  Everyone needs someone.

It’s a fact of life that it must end someday, but does this particular fact have to keep proving itself over and over so soon?

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This ain’t the Kool-Aid talking

I needed something to amuse me.  I’m on my way to a funeral and anything to keep my mind off the tragedy and sadness will be welcome.  I pull out my Zune and flip through some of my music looking to make a quick list.  Just out of curiosity I click on the Community menu to see if I’m the only one in the world that has bought a Zune.  I get the circular moving dots that tell me that its searching for other Zune devices and lo and behold "Chito" shows up.  Wow–I’m amazed.  Someone else in the Seattle airport has a Zune and they’re nearby.  I look around to see if I see anyone listening to music.  I see a young man sitting a few seats down from me listening to his music.  I thought to myself, "Let’s see if this thing works."  I browse through my gallery and find some cool (for me) backgrounds and click "send to Chito".  I wait.  I watch.  I see him look around to see if there is anyone he knows around.  Not seeing that its me, he accepts the files I send him.  I can see that he’s listening to some music by a group that I don’t recognize, but I make the assumption that it’s probably Hip-Hop or Rap.  So I browse my Rap genre and send him one the songs in my Rap category (1 of 3).  He reciprocates with sending me an old school R&B song.  Nice.  I already have it, but that was cool. 

This exchange goes on for about an hour and it occurs to me that this is the killer feature of the Zune.  This is the reason why people would buy it.  Here we were; a teenager and an old guy sending each other stuff via Zune.  We didn’t know each other from the man in the moon.  We probably won’t ever see each other again, but I will remember this exchange and it cheered me up.  For an hour, I forgot about death and sadness.  For an hour, I shared something cool with someone.  Random Acts of Kindness via Zune.

Everybody needs a Zune.

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Getting a Free Ride

This is the third week I have taken the Microsoft Connector Bus.  I must say, it does take the stress out of driving a little over an hour to work.  It’s a tour-style bus with restroom in the back, Wi-Fi, and AC outlets at every seat.
 
Microsoft even rented from the county certain parking spaces to designate them "Park-n Ride" for the Connector.  The first day they greeted us with gifts and espresso.  I passed on the espresso since I don’t understand why anyone would drink that crap…but it was a nice gesture.  They even had a hot Russian flight attendant to help wake you up.
 
I must say I look forward to catching the bus every morning.  It only takes 50 minutes and there is a shuttle waiting for me to take me to my building on campus when I disembark from the bus.  Best part of all this:  it’s all FREE!!  My office mate Bill Baer says, "I would rather drive and see the stock price go up than spend it on a free bus."  Bill, Bill, Bill…..c’mon….it’s about BENEFITS.  The stock price will go up when we start shipping the Surface, and a killer version of the Zune.

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